Apparently there is correlation between behavior and religion. It might not be what you would think, but it makes perfect sense to me.

http://www.slate.com/id/2203614/pagenum/all?Paul

I have become more and more atheist the father I reach into my adult years.

I've spend many years in churches and around those same people outside of church. I've noticed that many, but not all of people with whom I have shared pews with, did not actively practice what they preached. I enjoyed church for the simple fact that while we was there love and empathy for fellow man seemed real, but somehow many didn't carry those values beyond those church walls. What I witnessed in my youth didn't change as I grew older. Forget loving thy neighbor, its now the idea that if you are not with us you are against us. There seems to be this growing divide between religions and even within religions. Why can't people just be good for goodness sake? Why is everything in the name of some omnipotent god?
I've never been more turned of by people but at the same time I feel this overwhelming urge to help and save each and everyone of them.
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Now playing: Ben Kweller - Lizzy
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Snow.

Its snowing today. It snows a lot here apparently. It has snowed several time so far, but they were minor and disappeared quickly. Today it is different. Looking outside, it appears that we are in the middle of a blizzard. This would be a blizzard at home. Here in Syracuse, however, this is your typical lake-effect snow. Today the snowflakes a varied in size. Pretty much all day they were tiny little flakes so tiny that one imagine it would take a million years to cover the grown outsize with only one inch. They created the most delicate of blankets and took up almost no space in the air. Right at this very moment the snowflakes are a medium size. They are coming down so fast that the fill they the air so that it looks hazy outside. I enjoy snow. I was watching it fall from the warmth of my room through the window. For hours I could spend my time watching the snow fall. I watched out the window for a long time. It was wonderful.

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Now playing: Ben Folds Five - Fair
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Living the good life.

That was always the plan from the start right?

Sometimes life does not seem to follow the same path in which you riginally had mapped out. I've taken my life in several different directions only to decide that I was going the wrong way and proceeded to make a random turn, not always for the better. Thus, I have ended up here. I have put myself in a city far from home with a great deal of distance between me and the people with whom I have been closest with in my adult life. In this new world I've created for myself I have made relationships with new people and have found the best of them with the least expected of people. It really shows how amazing life can be.

One person in particular stands out in my mind. We are polar opposites, but somehow completely get each other. I'm a foul-mouthed partyer who is completely socially awkward and she is a a completely unapologetic bitch who is all about doing the best in school. It helps that we are both a little insane. She's probably going to be the one person with whom I will be able to count on to understand me and accept all of the crap which I may send her way. I think the feeling is mutual.

On the flip side of that are the relationships which I thought would work out, yet are not looking so good thus far. I started seeing someone shortly after I moved to Syracuse. I have briefly discussed this in a previous blog but now I shall elaborate slightly. Perhaps it was my own fault for attempting a to get to know someone long distance and committing to them at the same time. The thing is, I have lived up to my end of the bargain. I have reached out and I have been as emotionally available as possible, while being a full time student, that is. This means finding the time to call at least once day. Apparently, it is difficult for for him to return my phone calls. I didn't know that his job prevented him from touching base with me every few days, either that or I am particularly low on his list of priorities. I wouldn't be so hurt except that when I first started talking to him I received calls and text message constantly. I miss that. I miss him. I made him out to be my prince charming in my head because of all of the things he promised to do with me. I don't understand what happened but if this keeps up I'm going to go insane. I don't even think I'm going to be able to reach him when I finally give up and decide to break up with him. Men are jerks.

On the plus side- my semester of school is almost over and I am going to pass all of my classes and I'm going home for Thanksgiving.
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Now playing: Belle & Sebastian - Piazza, New York Catcher
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Speaking of marriage... Kieth Olbermann, will you marry me?

I am at a loss for words.
Let Love Live.
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Now playing: Laura Veirs - Saltbreakers
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What's the word I'm looking for?

Oh yeah.. its terrorist.

Maybe the reasons why these men are not being called by the word that clearly defines them is due to the color of their skin or the holy book which they read. Its sad that we reserve that word for people who threaten Anglo saxons and the like.
Here is your real definition.
I hope that clears somethings up a bit. You might also notice that member of our own government, including our commander-in-chief are fans of using this terror technique.

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Now playing: Ben Folds Five - Philosophy
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Loneliness and friend loss.

I'm homesick for the first time. It not really homesickness, its hard to describe. More like nostalgia. I'm really just missing my old life. The carefree, always having drunken fun life that I once held in Baltimore. I miss having money and a job and all my friends and not having so much to worry about. I miss my Uri, Mike, Heather, Sarah. I miss my Tuesday Boozeday. I miss the days before so much of that was ruined by my move to Syracuse. This is in no way saying that I hate my decisions, I still believe I made the right one in moving and I absolutely love my school and my new friends. This move, however was was just harder that I expected it to be..

I expected to miss everyone and I expected school to be tough. Yet I thought that I would have great friends to lean on. I thought that my friends from back home would help support on days when I'm struggling and answer the phone at least once every five time I call. Hardly.

Sarah never answers the phone and it is pointless for me to leave a voice mail, she like me, never checks them. When I do get a chance to talk to her all we talk about is her eating disorder and how "fat" she is. It makes me super self conscious. I'm struggling with my weight as it is and I don't need her mentioning how she weighs 15 Lbs less than me and is such a cow! I love Sarah.. really I do. Its just a struggle to deal with her ridiculous claims. When I met her she was a very different person with fire and direction. That fire I once knew appears to be slowly extinguishing and sadly I wait fort the phone call in which I find out that she finally put herself six feet under.
Whether is has to do with her relationship status, I will never knew for sure, but I have my opinions... I know how she is now and I remember what she was like before. I want my old fierce friend back.. the one that I could call and she would say all of the right things. The one who helped me get through my terrible break up with Marc. She was amazing.. More than I want her to be her for me, I want to to be her for herself.

Mike- Oh fuck where do I even start. Mike was for two years my best guy friend in Baltimore. We did EVERYTHING together. So much fun.. So many memories. So many shots of Powers and bottles and cans of Natty Boh.
Mike decided that it would be a really great idea to confess his undying love for me two weeks prior to my move. Mike caught me in a very vulnerable time. I was leaving all of my friends. I had recently broken up with a boyfriend and was CLEARLY not over him considering everyone knew we were still spending all of our together. I was closing a very prominent chapter in my life and opening a very scary new one. A new life which was unlike anything I had ever experiences before. Never once did I want to drop everything and be with Mike. The thought came over my mind but I still had a lot of other things to think about before starting a relationship with my best friend. I loved Mike but after careful consideration I realized that he is just not what I want. Unfortunately these final weeks in Baltimore contained a lot of alcohol and Mike did go in for the kill and kiss me while I was intoxicated.. In the moment I did kiss back but looking back I feel a little taken advantage of. Before moving I attempted to make sure that Mike knew that I didn't want to be anything but his friend.. It didn't take.
I moved away from Baltimore and I had thought that we had put this whole thing behind us. Not so much.
Mike moved to Rochester. I advised his that this was not a good idea especially if it was for me. He claimed it was for himself. He lied and now he resents me for him moving and me STILL not wanting to be with him.
Mike also found out that I started taking to a guy whom I met in Baltimore a few days before I moved and the he had come up to visit me. I intentionally did not tell him about it as to save his feelings. I have to tell him everything in my life and we weren't even and item yet. I guess this is where I did go wrong. I should've told him asap as to lesson the blow. We are no longer on speaking terms. I am sad.

Heather seems to be the only one who wants to stay friends forever. She cares about me in ways that I never thought a girl would care. She is the cheese to my macaroni. If we were lesbians I would marry her. I pretty much broke her heart in my moving away. Progress is progress and I need to move on. I want her to come up here more than anything in the world. She would fit in to SU like no other. She can be an honorary ESF girl. I talk to Heather more than anyone else... about a few times a week. We also text constantly. My only problem with her is that she is a total workaholic and now is seeing someone. I am so happy that she is happy, but for my own selfish reasons I wish she would answer the phone more. Its gotten worse lately.

I also have gotten myself into a long distance relationship with some that is about as flaky as I am.. guess it serves me right. He never answers the phone when I do talk to him the conversations are brief, followed by a "I'll call you back later" along with something he's doing and why he can't talk at this very moment. It is followed by me waiting and waiting eventually it ends with him failing to call me back. He is also out of the country a lot, which means I don't get to communicate that often. Now that I think of it.. I speak to him about the same about whether he is in the country or not. Ok.. that's an exaggeration. I sometimes speak out of pure frustration.

I do really like him though.
I wasn't entirely thrilled about starting a long distance relationship with someone I hardly knew but something about him just clicked. I just couldn't help myself... I'm a sucker for a guy with tattoos, a motorcycle and love for adventure! When I am with him he treats me like an absolute princess. We have so much in common.. He is totally worth a little flakiness. He trusts me. He adores me.. and I him.. which is more than I can say about half of the asses I've dated.
I met Christopher during a brief stint being everybody's bitch at a Baltimore tattoo parlour. After forty-five minutes of talking to him about life I knew there was something there so I offered up my number.
Game. Set. Match.
He accepted my number, obviously.. coughed up his and we have been happy ever since.
So much so that I think if we can make it through these years while I'm in school we could have a wonderful life together. Whoa, what a big statement I just made!! The words just came out. I.. I think I might have fallen him. Like for real. Too bad I live here and he live in the city I just walked away from. I never wanted a reason to go back, other than to visit. Now my love lives there. My only regret about dating Christopher is that I wish I had met him a little sooner than 4 days before I moved to New York!!

Many times I have kicked myself for not getting college over with right after high school.. but than I think about everything that I wouldn't have done and who I wouldn't have met and I once again I can sleep in the bed I made up for myself.

That about sums it up.

I saved the story of Uri, the recent ex for another day. I think he is seeing someone. Its too much for my head to wrap around at this current juncture.

150K on a Wardrobe??

Sarah Palin-
Way to show the working women that you are "just a regular person." This is absolutely sickening. I am disgusted by every aspect of your being. This just further proves the point that you are so far out of touch with reality.

The Twelve Types of Republicans.

From my perspective this is exactly how people in the Republican party seem. What a sad mix of hypocrisy, greed & ignorance. They hit the nail right on the head with this one, especially with the first three.