coping with being overly focused

Today is Thursday. Otherwise know as St. Patrick’s Day. To me this is
nothing other then an overused childish holiday. I don't even know why
we celebrate it. Twelve years of public schooling and I can't even
tell you why I am wearing green today. Thank you PG county school
system. In my 20th year March 17th is nothing more to me then another
reason to go to a fever party. Irish fever to be exact. I am less
excited about this fever party then I was for any of the others.
Maybe, it’s because I am going in to this knowing that I am not going
to roll. The boyfriend has to work tomorrow and I don't want to be in
a different mindset then he will be in tonight. He wants to instead
drink and smoke, which sounds like a fine plan to me!

Today is also the day that I start taking my adderall to treat my
ADHD. Hip hip hooray for I am cured instantly. I can tell today that
I don't feel like my normal self. My usual scattered thoughts are far
more organized. I jump from idea to idea far less frequently. I
could just be letting the drug do to me what I was expecting it to do.
On the other hand it is disturbing to me how I feel. I will
definitely need to get used to this feeling. I'm somewhat numb to the
outside world. I can hardly notice anything but what I am thinking at
the current time. I'm hoping that this is the way a normal brain
works. All of the random thoughts that I would usually come up with
are lost within seconds. Their flames are blown out before I get a
chance to ponder them for any considerable amount of time. My normal
brain does not work like this. Perhaps this is the reason why I find
it hard to read a book or focus on a conversation for a good amount of
time. My brain feels the need to stop and think about everything
going on around me. It's comforting to be able to put most of my
energy on to one thing.