alice and india

Last night my boyfriend pointed out to me that my best friend and I are on our second stage of friendship. Meaning that we are leaving the giddy little girl stage and entering the I'm noticing all of your faults and they start to annoy me stage. To give some background information. She works down the street from my house in a shop in which my boyfriend and I are regular customers. I go in everyday now that she works there. Before I went in like once a week while my man went in quite a bit more then that. Anyhoo she and my man got to know each other over the days before I was even aware of her existence. On the day that we finally met, him and her were running errands during the day and then came to pick me up. That evening just happened to be New Years Eve and we had invited our friend Jack from VA to enjoy the night’s festivities with us. India was then invited to join and our little party then became four. That night we all planned to roll. The four of us took our pills at 1130 and at 1145 headed out of the house to view the wonderful fireworks at the inner harbor in Baltimore. I didn't notice the effects of my drugs till we got back to the house at 1230 but everyone else seemed to be feeling it at about midnight. Including my new friend. Though at the time she couldn't really tell she was at the time but I knew otherwise. That night we found out more about each other then most people find out in a month. The next day I saw her in the shop and a smile never left her face. I heard the word "hollar" so many times that morning.

SO since that day we have spent many hours smoking and talking. We have been getting to know each other more and more each day. When Matt goes out of town I spend every spare minute with her. I am closer to her then I can ever remember being with another girl since the incident with my lesbian bipolar schizophrenic. Oh the horror! ...More on that time of my life later. So Indy and I have gotten particularly close partially because I'm lacking in the girlfriend department and partially because she is to. I don't know much about her childhood or what life was like for her in high school. I do however know what her dreams are. I know what her current likes and dislikes are. I know who her hero is and so on. I would like to know as much as I could but I don't know quite how to get her to talk to me in the way that I would like her to. I want to know the deep down thoughts. The thoughts that she has on the way the world should be. I want to know what her meaning of life is. Again I just don’t know how to ask. I feel like even with me she puts up some sort of facade and I want to tell her, with me that's not necessary. I won't judge her in the way that she thinks the rest of the world will. I think that maybe she gets the idea that I will judge her because of the way I act when she puts up that oh so familiar facade. The actress in her comes out and I don’t know if it seems like an act to anyone else but I see right through it. When we are alone I see so many more sides of her. (though I can tell there is still something she it hiding) When we are with others especially when we are in public she is not the same person. I think that she thinks people will like her act better then the real her. On the contrary, the world is more accepting then it seems. I'm not judging her. I'm just stating what I see. I could be wrong though. I know that I do the same things and I notice my public facade and I attempt to stop it before it before it becomes second nature. Perhaps I am too harsh on the world around me. I should just stop viewing things with critical eyes and let them just be the way they are. Maybe its people like me, the people who think they can fix the problems of the world that are causing all of them.